Lesson 10 - Questions about my progress

Share some thoughts about how your piece is coming. Here are some questions to get you thinking. Read other students' submissions and offer helpful comments.

Did you have trouble getting started?

No. For this story I started with the beginning like you mentioned in this lesson. It was one sentence that started the rest - I was born in pain. The character developed from that, trying to think the being and context that sentence fit. The rest of the imagery came to me. While taking this class, the plot has emerged. I had a vague idea and thought that through writing it would emerge.

What problems are you having?

Having the time to download what is in my brain! I have a scattering of scenes I want to write out, but the majority of the story is still unwritten. I’m not sure if that is a problem. As I start writing it all out, the other pieces may come to me. That’s my experience from the past.

Have you made any interesting connections? (If this question confuses you, see Lesson 6, Chapter 3.)

I was thinking about using the rebirth imagery but not sure yet.

Has putting more time into your writing helped?

Yes, it has made me appreciate that I need to do a little every day. Some days that just means I think through things and never have time to sit at a computer or jot on a notepad. I have bought myself a writing journal that I add tidbits too. That has helped.

How do you feel now that you're writing a short creative piece?

Motivated, jazzed. I wish there were more hours in the day and my energy level was always high. Some people only need 4 hours of sleep... I am not one of them.

Lesson 9 Motivation exercise

1. Pick a goal from your ideal future book chapters.

2. Imagine that the terms of your life have radically changed.

3. Make a list of steps you need to achieve your goal in the next 12 months.

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This is a really good exercise. It reminds me of when I was teaching business writing and made my students create employment portfolios. These sophomore and junior students thought that they would graduate and magically get a job paying $50,000/year, buy a house with a white picket fence and drive a BMW. When I asked them “How do you plan to get there?” they look dumbfounded. Like by virtue of the fact that they went to college and they were who they were, a company would come crawling to offer them a job. Yea, right. You and every other recent graduate who is wet behind the ears is exactly what the biggest name, largest paying companies want to hire.

So we would set that pipe-dream as a goal and then backtrack with the question “Who do you get from where you are now to there?” and then they realized there was more work involved on their part. Of course, I didn’t even think about applying this concept to my writing. Duh! LOL

Book review - Goddess of Spring, PC Cast

Reviving some old stuff I wrote for a local newsletter.

Goddess of Spring by PC Cast

Penguin, 2006. Paperback. Pagan/Romance

What would happen if a middle-aged, jaded Tulsa business woman and Persephone traded places for 6 months? 

This book gives us a new look at an old story. In this bodice-ripping tale, Lina strikes a deal with Demeter – trade places with Persephone, visit Hades in the Underworld and Persephone will save Lina’s struggling bakery.

Of course, things are never so easy. Lina (in Persephone’s body) and Hades fall in love. But, Lina’s time in the Underworld is running short, and she will have to return to the World of the Living. More importantly, she must tell Hades she is not really Persephone and find out if he really loves her for who she is, or for the body she temporarily inhabits. At the same time, Persephone in Lina's body in modern Tulsa, has found that she is enjoying the mortal world too much to give it up easily.

The descriptions of the Underworld are ethereal and creative. Cast gives us a detailed view of the Elysian Fields and Tartarus. She even includes a touching scene where soul mates choose to ride the River Lethe, the River of Forgetfulness. Hades is in some ways the typical, well-muscled romantic hero. He is also jaded and, unlike the other gods and goddesses, is looking for eternal love. The main character, Lina, is intelligent and resourceful while feeling out her new environment. The love scenes are deliciously erotic, standard fair romance-genre stuff. But, the context definitely gives it a new twist. 

OCLC Newsletter

June 2008, Volume 10, Issue 5

Rejection Scares the Hell out of Me

This came out of an exercise on addressing your self critic. The exercise was really helpful in identifying the voices in my head. Yes, I have voices, more than one. Doesn't every author?

One thing I know about myself is that I seek approval from others and rejection scares the HELL out of me. I fully expect that when I start pitching my book ideas to publishers, I will get rejections, probably 100 to any 1 that shows an interest. So I am setting myself up for this, on one hand. On the other hand, I know it is necessary to reach my ultimate goal of becoming a published author. Thankfully, I have given myself plenty of time to reach my goal.

So I was thinking of how to deal with those inevitable rejection letters. Once I have read them, taking the constructive criticism from them, what do I do? Do I just put them in a file? Do I make a collage out of them and paper my walls? Have a big bonfire and burn them all? I came up with the perfect solution, and I am sure my husband will just love this idea.

I am going to make a papier mache critic from the rejection letters. I'll keep it small, 2 feet tall or so. This critic is going to have one arm extended, figure pointing, mouth open in comment. I'll make it have big hair, awful clothing and big feet. Maybe buck teeth. Jug ears. When I get another rejection letter, I can plot how to add on to my papier mache figure.

Once the big push comes, and I send first chapters to a bunch of publishers, I'm sure I will get a heap of letters back. But still it may take some time to complete. If I get enough letters and the critic is complete, maybe I'll give him/her a desk too.

Lesson 8 - Write It Better

Lesson 8: Helpful Tips for Beginning Writers
Use the writing tips you learned in Lesson 8 to find and correct errors in the sentences below.

First, name the error. Then rewrite the sentence to make it better. Read the example, then copy the rest, name the error, and then fix the sentence.

Example:

"I am alone," Ralphie thought.
What mistake is made here? Using quotes around interior monologue.

Write it better. I am alone, Ralphie thought.

Copy these eight sentences, name the mistake, and write each sentence to correct the mistake.

It seemed to Jason that his brother had kind of disappeared during a game of Hide and Seek.

What mistake is made here? hedging words/phrase = seemed, kind of

Write it better. Jason’s brother disappeared during a game of Hide and Seek.

It takes at least an hour to heat up chili.

What mistake is made here? hedging = at least. Dead it.

Write it better. Heating up chili takes an hour.

"Mom should be home in half an hour," stated Jason coldly.

What mistake is made here? Not using said, using adverb rather than action.

Write it better. “Mom should be home in half an hour,” John said and then turned abruptly away.

"Pass the salt," Marietta said.

What mistake is made here? Lacks purpose. Actions of the story could expand or show this.

Write it better. (The instructor actually suggests taking this out, but I wrote a short scene for it)  The family sat at the large dining table amid a cacophony of chatter and chair scraping. Marietta yammered non-stop with her younger sister on her right even as she nudged her brother on her left for him to pass her the salt.

The handle of the bat was smashed into my eye by Herb.

What mistake is made here? Passive construction.

Write it better. Herb hit my eye with the handle of the bat.

He saw the tip of the flag protruding from the backpack and perceived that it had been hidden there by Jack.

What mistake is made here? Hedging and thought words

Write it better. The flag protruded from the spot where it was hidden in Jack’s backpack. I knew it, Principal Hacker thought.

Armand, wearing an elegant red cummerbund beneath his tuxedo, stepped forward to request a dance from Elsa whose plunging neckline left little to the imagination, while the band played a Strauss waltz that they'd played on the night Sir Milos Resterman had been killed in the same ballroom.

What mistake is made here? Too much info packed in one sentence.

Write it better. Wearing an elegant red cummerbund beneath his tuxedo, Armand stepped forward to request a dance from Elsa. His gaze swept over the plunging neckline, which left little to the imagination, as they began to waltz. The band played a Strauss waltz, the same waltz as on the night Sir Milos Restermand had been killed in the same ballroom.

Reba felt as unbelievably sad as if she'd lost her dearest and best friend and sobbed with uncontrollable emotion until she felt Dwayne take her in his arms with his wonderful, incredible tenderness.

What mistake is made here? Talking through emotions rather than showing. Tons of cliches. Long sentence; looses the impact.

Write it better. Reba’s grief filled her at the loss of her dearest friend. She sobbed even harder when Dwayne’s arms surrounded her, warm and reassuring.

Another Writing Lesson That Saves Money Too

Taking this online writing class has already had a ton of benefits. The original cost wasn't atrocious and it's already paid for itself. And now, it's even saved me money.

Whenever I get a pre-written card, I always feel like I want to add something more. I love the funny and sometimes sappy cards, but I always want to personalize it. Just writing my name seems like wasted effort and money.

The instructor mentioned finding ways to exercise your writing. One way was to buy blank greeting cards and write your own inscription. Make it a poem or your own thoughts about the person. Whatever you want. So deceptively simple!

So I bought the 5 blank 99-cent cards (4 birthdays and 1 sympathy) and will personalize my wish for each person and circumstance. They'll never know they were 99-cents because I will have added value by making them customized in "business speak." LOL

Instead I splurged on the Easter cards. :)

Reflections on Lesson 8

While I was reading Lesson 8 and some of the tips posted there, I came to realize that I commit many of these writing sins. So here are some things for me to keep in mind. I plan to go over some of my stories with a more critical eye as soon as I have some free time... sometime next decade maybe.

1. In dialogue, use the word said 95% of the time, as in, "Who me?" he said.

I have always avoided ‘said’ because it was such a wimpy verb. But if readers aren’t even stopping long enough to read the verb, then I have been wasting my time.

She recommends using body language and other techniques to show who is talking and to whom.

2. Write what a character is thinking.

Laurell K. Hamilton is very good at doing this. We know all the pros and cons as Anita or Merry think about them.

3. Avoid hedging words.

Mmm... I do this... a lot I think. Seem, apparently, think.

Get the conflict into your story in the first or second paragraph.

Start with the conflict, cut out back story. She doesn't say it but I do notice in some of the novels I am reading that the back story unfolds as I read. If it's done well, it fills in info at the point the reader needs it. If it's not done well, I feel like I am missing something and start looking for an earlier book in the series.

4. The more ornate and cliché-like emotions you describe, the less effective they will be.

I really try not to do this, but I will have to review to make sure.

5. Use dialogue that has a purpose or leave it out.

I think I am good about doing this but I will double check.

6. Check your facts.

Yes, I try to do this and sometimes my reader catches me in factual errors. Thank you, Amita!

7. Write in the active voice, not the passive voice.

"The problem here is that verb phrases using the -ing form (participial verb phrases) are often a poor way to start a sentence. The -ing verb form beginning often builds in bad logic and impossible time warps. The -ing implies that the action in the verb phrase is happening right now. When you combine it with the past tense of your story, it can leave your reader confused. Consider the following sentences:

 
Turning from the accident, Officer Tetterman gave slow and careful instructions.
Grabbing her purse and locking the door, Mrs. Montrose drove to town."

Oh yea. I do that. I will have to look more closely at my sentences. I don’t write passive sentences so much as start off with participial phrases.

So my score is like 5 out of 7. LOL. What's yours?

Things to work on in the future...

Lesson 7 - Rewording

Choosing Powerful Words
Using what you learned in Lesson 7, rewrite these sentences to make them powerful, vivid, and unique. You can do that by trying the following:

• Improve the verbs and make the nouns more specific.
• Show a character in action rather than naming feelings or telling us what we should think.
• Be specific with your details.
• Work on developing a clear mental picture of the scene and then copy what you see in your mind onto the page.

Rewrite these sentences:

1. There were so many winding curves as I drove in the blazingly bright orange sunlit glare of the everlasting road that I was utterly exhausted by the endless ordeal and thought I might faint if given half the chance. (What's wrong: Overdone adjectives and adverbs. Cliches. Sentence goes on too long.)
2. The leaves were red. (What's wrong: Too general. Hard to picture this. Very blah.)
3. That horrible tornado was like a raging bull charging a red cape so it could blast everything we owned to smithereens once and for all. (What's wrong: Silly and mixed metaphor. Vague adjective. Cliches.)
4. John thought again how Martha was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen, and he knew he would love her forever. (What's wrong: Powerful thought but weak delivery. Telling instead of showing. Dull verbs. No picture evoked.)

MY VERSIONS OF THE ABOVE SENTENCES

1. The winding road curved again into the bright glare of the sun as exhaustion swept over my body leaving me limp in my seat.
2. The broad branches of the maple tree fanned out with ruby, garnet and amber bejeweled leaves.
3. The tornado raged like a child throwing a tantrum, wind pounded over the house, rattled the windows in their frames and threw sticks, patio furniture and lawn ornaments at the walls. 
4. John found the sting of tears burning behind his eyes when he saw Martha and was transported back to the day he first saw her on that park bench and his heart had instantly melted all over again.

Being a Wordsmith

Wordsmith - Dictionary.com

–noun

1.

an expert in the use of words.

2.

a person, as a journalist or novelist, whose vocation is writing.

In the creative writing class, Lesson 7 on choosing the right words was a great reminder about how to craft words and sentences for impact. What the instructor says in this lesson is so true.

When I was still teaching college level writing, I had a lot of freshman who wrote these highfalutin' sentences that were hard to understand. After some discussions with them, I figured out they were writing how they THOUGHT they should be writing at the college level. I finally got it across to them to write to be understood, not to impress. And the nice thing about business writing was that this rule applies even more.

So here are some of my thoughts on Being a Wordsmith:

1. Sometimes simple is better, especially if it is a complex idea.
2. For complex ideas, use more than one sentence. Cramming too many ideas into one sentence loses what you are trying to say.
3. Vary sentence lengths not just to make your writing more interesting but to add impact. In an intense, action-packed or emotionally charged scene, use short sentences to reflect tension.
4. Avoid cliches, trite, overused phrases. If you can't find an original way to say it, does it need to be there?
5. Avoid the AND complex. If two words are connected by AND, are they expressing different ideas or similar ones? For example: It was cold and freezing outside. The ideas of cold and freezing are too similar to be joined with an AND. Pick one and move on.
6. Use nouns well. Choose nouns that mean something. I would get on my students about using 'stuff' and 'things.' Look at the context of the word and define what that 'stuff' is or what those 'things' are.
7. Use action verbs. Choose action verbs if you can to help show characterization or situation. If John gave Mary a box, did he toss it at her? hand it to her? drop it in her palm?
8. Don't make your readers pull out a dictionary. Once you use that big $10 word you have been storing up, you may lose your audience. If they have to pause long enough to try to figure out the meaning of the word, you have just pulled them out of your setting.

I know I have more ideas in my teacher brain. As I think of more tips I will add on. You are free to disagree with me or add your own ideas to the list.